Saturday, September 17, 2011

Scattered Whispers


Inspired by a poetry prompt at http://dversepoets.com/2011/09/08/formforall-pantoum/ to write a pantoum, I finally composed one and thought I'd share it.

Scattered Whispers

Scattered whispers breach my dream,
linger cold among the trees,
drop like petals in the stream,
carried on the bristled breeze.

Linger cold among the trees,
discordant voices dreamt of this,
carried on the bristled breeze,
a beautiful, resplendent kiss.

Discordant voices dreamt of this,
now dreadful cold and bitter chill,
a beautiful, resplendent kiss,
rendering my lips utterly still.

Now dreadful cold and bitter chill,
wake to feel the bristled breeze,
rendering my lips utterly still,
whose voice I hear among the trees?

Wake to feel the bristled breeze,
drop like petals in the stream,
whose voice I hear among the trees?
Scattered whispers breach my dream.


Word of the Day: resplendent. (adjective) dazzling.

25 comments:

  1. Oh, I love the way that feels to speak it out loud and the mood it creates.

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  2. Loved the poem AND the word of the day. :)

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  3. Great use of alliteration throughout, and your off-rhyme is well picked to complement the main refrain. Nice pantoum, and esp like the "bristled breeze."

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  4. lean and mean writing, and more than anything enchanting. i love opening this with such a tough verb like breach, and to return to it as well.

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  5. Nothing scattered about this piece, very nicely done!

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  6. ..Scattered whispers breach my dream... i think i could hear the trees whisper in your words..the pantoum form gives this piece a good frame

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  7. very nicely done to form...andlove the nature tones through out as i retreat there for comfort...this tome is almosta lullaby with the repitition....

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  8. special skills crafted and a very natural air

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  9. I do love the pantoum form! This is full of such beautiful phrases, I can't single out any one. Great to use them in a poem that employs repetiton.

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  10. Pantouns are so hard tro pull off but I think you did it with a "bristled Breeze!" Well done........!

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  11. Having just learned about the Pantoum form, I was thrilled to read and recognize it here. This flows and I love the scattered whispers breaching dreams. Very nice :)

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  12. This is so nicely done and thanks for sharing
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/

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  13. Wonderful poem. The repetetive aspect and the imagery used give this work a unique quality. I loved it, as well as the picture. Well written.

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  14. Lovely pantoum. So glad you were able to share this poem. The interweaving is so effective here where leaves rustle and breezes bristle. Excellent work. Thank you! Gay

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  15. Hey, that was a Reverso!! My daughter just read a book of them. Well, pantoum I guess.

    Chilling, but stunning!!

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  16. Hey, any poetic advice on how to handle The Human?

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  17. This is the first pantoum I've read that may well inspire me to try and write one someday.♥

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  18. great results! I've yet to try that form, usually just free verse. A lot of my fellow poets in the Mississippi Poetry Society write villanelles, which also have a repeating line, and I rather like them, too!

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  19. GLORIOUSLY done. I so adore the pantoum! Just wonderful writing.

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  20. great rhyme scheme and flow...
    nice line breaks
    well constructed pantoum

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  21. Hello.
    Visiting from The Poetry Pantry.

    Very nicely expressed.
    Lovely imagery.
    I like the word of the day too...might have to use it in one of my poems! ;-)

    Thanks for sharing.

    Undress Me With Your Sultry Eyes

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