Tuesday, November 1, 2011
The Pattern of Thoughts
the pattern of thoughts
paralyzing words, in a coma, enigma,
games of the flesh, a cacophony of sound,
dances, my heart floats downward, a spiral,
a staircase, in any case, descends to the ground.
perpetuated by noise, it grinds at my eardrums,
the beat hums, between thumbs, bangs and guffaws,
the clatter, the matter, caught in the dead space,
like echoes, it beckons, a discordant note between walls.
jumpy and frightened, my language will dwindle,
my world in a coffin, where soil meets the sky,
disappointment and joy will laugh in a spiral,
it sings my heart happy, yet the pain never dies.
this poem came out of an interesting stream of consciousness exercise where you write one page each day, for ten days. you don't think, just let your hand write whatever comes. you put each page away and don't read them until you've completed all ten pages. then you go back and read what is on the pages and highlight the words or phrases that speak to you, write those down and reread and edit until you come up with a poem or seed of a poem. this was so much fun and i was surprised by the results. the above poem was almost completely there on the first page i had written and i don't even remember writing it.
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
this has a great beat to it...some really visceral imagery too...where soil meets the sky...in the coffin...evocative...ReplyDelete
I second that, the thumbs with bangs, and the "staircase in any case" are particularly cool.ReplyDelete
That was cool. I loved the way it felt like I was rushing down a spiral staircase and then back up again.ReplyDelete
wow what an exercise...think i need to try this...and really cool to see the output...and how well it blends together..really coolReplyDelete
This is cool and what a great exercise it is.ReplyDelete
Interesting experiment and might I say a highly enjoyable result! // Peter.ReplyDelete
I love the way your poem turned out. This was a great experiment.ReplyDelete
i was immediately struck by the music, the beat, really wonderful.ReplyDelete
so many interesting phrases, twists and turns. i love it.
Inspiring imagery; emotions running abstract yet clearly defined. Great flow, great read. Pleasure reading your blog.ReplyDelete
flexible thinking is cool,ReplyDelete
love your creative piece with some thrilling imagery.
Quite intriguing how these things can turn out when it's all welling up from the subconscious :)ReplyDelete
What a refreshing way to create! This method certainly worked here for you. Excellent write!ReplyDelete
One page a day for ten days... WOW! I need to try that one day, what a way to come up with something so creative.ReplyDelete
Also - I gave you an award on my blog today! Come by and grab it when you can :)
Hi, I have heard of that method and it seems to have worked for you, as others have noted it's very musical and rich in imagery.ReplyDelete